BRANCH OF THE LENE LENAPE PLANS TO OPEN CASINO!
Anthony Olszewski
Copyright 2003
A group of Marion and Greenville area residents publicly stated that they are directly descended from Native Americans. Specifically, they trace their lineage to a branch of the Lene Lenape tribe long thought to have been wiped out by Dutch settlers.
Chief Abraham "Fox-that-walks" Petz, owner of "Honest Abe's Pawnshop and Beeper Reconnection Service", says that the tribe has kept it existence secret to this day due to a fear of violence from "colonists and other newcomers." His brother, Martin Samuel Petz, notorious for his part in the Robert Vesco LSD for Alaskan Land deal, declined comment. Tribal Medicine Man, Leroy "Bear-that-stares" Smith would only say that Martin Samuel Petz is no longer a member of the tribe.
Leader of the Tribal Council, Salvatore "Crab-that-swims" Serratte, retired Business Agent of Teamster's Local 560, elaborated on the group's application to open a casino. "Given all the hardship and privation that we was forced to suffer, it's only right that some allowance be made." Salvatore Serratte is featured in another story today. (See below.) The tribe believes that their casino will eventually become "the crown jewel" in a massive recreational complex on the Jersey City waterfront. In their opinion, "this translates into prosperity for all residents of Jersey City."
Chief Petz, pointed to a boulder jutting out from the sidewalk in front of his shop. "That stone has been sacred to our tribe from time immemorial." An elderly neighborhood resident wondered aloud, "But Abe, I remember when your grand-daddy told the contractor that, since he wasn't going to pay no extra to get it tugged out, that rock was just having have to go set there."
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